Do You Maintain Your Healthy Boundaries?
It seem that life comes at us from all sides. So, that’s why it’s important to build and maintain healthy boundaries. If you’re not being pulled by your family’s needs, then the deadlines at work weigh on you like the proverbial ton of bricks. Maybe you find yourself as caregiver for an elderly parent, too. After a while, the stress will take it’s toll on your health.
Remember Nehemiah?
Some Jews had escaped the exile and returned to Jerusalem. The place was a mess after being overrun and left desolate when the population was taken by enemies. Nehemiah was part of the Persian king’s court. He was visited by brothers who told him of the condition of the city. This news pained him so that he felt called by God to ask the king for permission to leave his post and return to the city to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. As the story continues, we learn the difficulties Nehemiah faced and, with God’s help, how he and the people were able to overcome those obstacles. Of course, rebuilding the walls of an ancient city is an example of creating a physical boundary. Its design keeps any potential enemies out and keeps the townspeople safe.
What About Personal Boundaries?
Personal boundaries are:
- “…those boundaries that are set to make sure mentally and emotionally you are stable” (Prism Health North Texas, n.d.) Positive Psychology.com
Healthy personal boundaries have many benefits, including:
- Good Overall Mental & Emotional Health
- Avoiding Burnout
- Positively Influencing Others
Of course, not maintaining healthy boundaries, especially within your relationships will have negative effects. According to Positive Psychology.com, those effects include:
- “…the consequences of not setting healthy boundaries often include “stress, financial burdens, wasted time, and relationship issues, which can cause mental distress” (Prism Health North Texas, n.d.). In other words, a lack of healthy boundaries can negatively affect all aspects of someone’s life.”
Creating & Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
In a brief outlining the importance of personal boundaries, the University of Kentucky explains, “When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting.” ( Boy, this sounds easy, doesn’t it? But if you’re already stretched to the max and beyond, even trying to set a boundary can be hard work. Don’t be afraid to be assertive. You might feel bad about ‘limiting’ the other person’s access to you, but you will be the better for it in the end.
Tips & Resources On Setting Boundaries
- Create Healthy Boundaries (University of Kentucky)
- How to Set Healthy Boundaries: 10 Examples + PDF Worksheets (Positive Psychology.com)
- How To Set Boundaries With Family — And Stick To Them (NPR – Audio)
